unprettyprincess

I lived a blind life. once I thought I was a good friend, a good partner, and a good person. now I realize how very wrong I was. there is always room for more good, especially in the person who has always seen themselves as good. chances are, there are some mistakes that you have made. look them over. even if you are not entirely at fault, say you're sorry anyway. and mean it. if you're always wrong, make it better. if you're always right, you're lying. despite always thinking I was good at heart, I was insecure. it all boiled down to not having a purpose in life. even though I had short term involvement with certain things, I had no

nostalgia makes home here, with tears in my eyes, you by my side, and the trains riding by. misery makes home here, with tears in my eyes, an empty space to sleep by, and a bottle running dry. goodbye...

I feel your presence draw closer and my heart isn't okay anymore. I won't let you hurt me, but... All I can think of is the bad that could happen. Please don't tell my friends and family everything. Sometimes it's best to keep things a secret. A deep, dark secret. Locked away. Forever.

goals are not something I find myself particularly fond of. to have goals is to ask for failure. telling yourself you won't fail, or even trying not to fail, does not ensure you won't. this is the truth of goals, no matter how many argue this. as one who becomes lethargic with life after failing, it's not something I'm willing to risk. I do take life how it comes. don't get me wrong, I like to have PLANS. "we're going HERE this weekend, and we're going to eat HERE, and WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN." and god damn it if everything doesn't go exactly my way. but see, I like to control things. that is why I hate failure. something like a good weekend

all these intricate woven patterns in my brain have caused me to cry today. it was warm and muggy and not the right weather for this season. I walked down this strange walkway over water, looking for you. I don't know why I was looking for you. oh wait, I remember now. you called me and I tracked down the number to find out which area you called me from. and I went there, expecting not to find you. but as I reached the end and found a shell of a transient camp, perched at the picnic table was a thin man with mangy blond hair and a camouflage shirt. yes. I had found you. your face was unshaven and equally as dirty. I sat across from you polite

I yearn to be needed. for someone to see me in the morning and feel happy that I am there. for someone to tell me that I am important, and not treat me like I do not matter when in front of other people. for someone to take a bullet for me in the name of true family, not in the name of blood. my world is like the squat houses I stayed in. many people come through, but in the end I am alone. quiet. empty. like nobody was ever there. every step I take, I know I will be alone. so let me walk, and do not trick me into thinking you'll be there if I trip. do not trick yourself either.